It’s Valentine’s Day…
where everyone gets all lovey dovey and buys over priced flowers, holzuhr jewelry and goes out to eat at over crowded restaurants…
Except the single girls…
some will hold a pity party and even get a party venue in Aspen, some will try to find love with food, some will just go on like it’s just another day, some will be bitter, others look forward in hope and anticipation, some don’t care because they choose to be single…
that’s me!
Do I get asked out?
Yes, a lot actually…
ranging from kids (ok so they’re of legal age but a cougar I am not!) to guys my own age and older from all walks of life.
Do I go out?
Nope…
Call me what you will, but my priority is my daughter, myself and work.
I will not give up time with her to go out with someone.
Now, if I found someone I actually wanted to go out with we could on the evenings my daughter’s with the ex…
Otherwise, my time is hers.
Reality is this though, I haven’t found that person.
I had that person a looooooooong time ago…
then I thought I wasn’t good enough for him and broke up.
Which is just as well otherwise my daughter wouldn’t have been born so there are reasons for everything!
Yet, sadly now that person is totally gone…was killed in a car accident.
R.I.P Ted 🙁
The ideal guy for me…
someone who will accept me for who I am and not try to change me…I know sounds cliche’ but it is what it is.
someone who can deal with the fact I very rarely get dressed up (though I can and will on occasion – though I do prefer tank tops and cargo shorts or yoga pants)
someone who can deal with the fact I do not wear makeup and don’t foresee my doing so (other than mascara & eye liner..that’s the extent of my makeup)
someone who doesn’t immediately text/dm me saying “you’re hot”, “you’re sexy”, “your hairs so shiny” or anything similar to that (and some other choice dm’s I get via Facebook and texts lol…and yes while I like compliments I want more than that)
preferably someone who’s athletic and/or likes to be outside and doesn’t mind the FL heat
likes to travel
likes good food (and healthy whole food at that)
preferably Christian or at least accepts that I am (though I’m not a holier than thou Scripture reciting Christian, I’m just me…a Jesus Lover)
drug free
doesn’t smoke
doesn’t drink (or at least in excess…an occasional drink…fine for him…though I won’t partake–did more than my share of drinking in past & going on 10 yrs without and plan to keep it that way)
So, as you can see I know what I want…
and I’m not going to simply settle (I know plenty who did or are doing this…and that’s not the way it should be).
Some people are settling down, some people are settling and some people refuse to settle for anything less than butterflies.
~ Sex and the City
Last Valentine’s Day I was alone on Dania Beach…
This year…it’s too cold! (You do remember I am a cold weather wimp and anything below like 76 is cold for me!)
So enjoy…the beach from last year!
“I don’t need a man to rectify my existence. The most profound relationship we’ll ever have is the one with ourselves.”
– Shirley MacLaine
Tonight, I will be home alone…
probably working, go for a run, watch a movie, be happy being me knowing that when the time is right the right one will be there and I won’t grow bitter like others do (yea mom that’s directed at you but if you actually read this that’d mean you are in fact stalking my blog like you claim you’re not but yet stats says otherwise!)
For those who are spending Valentine’s with their loved one…congrats and enjoy!
For those who are single…there’s nothing wrong with that…you can still celebrate!
Question of the day
What will you be doing today?
I love this post. Seriously love it. Good for you for not settling. I did… Twice. And now I’m in the same spot as you. And it is empowering and wonderful. Congrats to you for knowing what you want!
Yes it is empowering, freeing and wonderful!
Happy Valentine’s Day to you Shelley! <3
Hugs. I have my husband and three little boys who are my Valentine. However, my husband refers to this day as “stupid day of love”. No cards or gifts will be shared. Just the normal daily routine. #soromantic 😉
I love your perspective. You know what you want, you know what’s important to you (and WHO is important to you) and that is awesome. I personally don’t put a lot of focus on vday, it’s very “hallmark” to me – but I *do* use it as an excuse to shut the world out for an evening of disconnected “alone” time with my husband. It’s so easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of a busy week and to forget to focus on a loved one. So tonight, that’s what I’ll be doing – cooking a yummy dinner and enjoying his company. Plain and simple.
I love that SATC quote–one of my faves 🙂
I am also single: I haven’t found the right person and I’m not willing to settle, so until it works out, I have Tals! We’ll be curled up on the couch watching Trueblood I think. Nothing like bloody vampires to make the day fly by! Enjoy your day, Tara!!
I agree about not settling. Earlier in my life I settled way too much with total jerks. No more! And I’m happier for it!
great post Tara!
It’s actually crazy to me to have to identify myself as anything other than a single independent woman. I’m so proud to read that you don’t settle and that your daughter comes first over any man. There are, unfortunately, way too many women who don’t see it this way and will put their own happiness before their children.
But there is no shame in being single on valentines day. Pamper yourself! 😉
the beach form last year is beautiful! Big hugs to you today!
Thanks everyone and yes Charlotte sadly there are MANY women who put men before their kids and they’re just raising their kids to think they’re second rate and/or that they’re not as important…they’re not willing to sacrifice and are only concerned about their own wants and not what their kid(s) want or what is best for them.
Really enjoyed reading your post. It was refreshing to hear that you put your daughter first, really refreshing. YOu know what you want and you are doing good things for your life. I hope you have a wonderful day and that you get exactly what you are looking for in the future!
I’m married, but I believe in celebrating our relationship every day with mundane things instead of one day of flowers. So, we had our normal evening of dinner, homework with the kids, and a little bit of hanging out together.
Lovely post. And I agree, don’t settle. Hope you had a nice evening.
I’m glad you’re happy. I was so convinced when I was young that a guy was necessary. I wasted too much time being sad. Now I do my own thing and Voila, I’m very popular. Funny how that works. Keep being you – no-one can do that better than you!
HUGS TARA.
Im late to this as I was with my 6 year old valentine all day yesterday.