Birds creep me out

Okay, for those that know me..y’all already know that I do not like ducks or any bird of any sort.
They freak me out and creep me out.

Shall I blame it on Alfred Hitchcock??? (“The Birds”)

I don’t know but for whatever reason, they freak me out.

I remember when my son was 3 or 4 and he insisted he had to have parakeets. I gave in (being the good mommy I am lol) and got him 2 parakeets. Needless to say, we came home one day and they had escaped their cage but were still in the house. I was not about to touch one and get it back in the cage…I mean they have beaks and can peck ya know. So, I called a friend to come over and round them up. My son also decided at that point that birds weren’t the ideal pet and we gave them to the friend who captured them and off they went to a loving home.

Fast forward 16 years…I still do not like birds or ducks (yes I know ducks ARE birds, but they’re the big fat webbed feet kind so they have their own odd distinction with me).

Now, after today’s walk with Chico…I really do not like birds. We walk the same route 3 times a day every day and never had any problems with birds until today! Walking along and I know there’s a bird nest in one tree we have to walk under (it hangs over the sidewalk) and we usually walk quickly so as not to upset the birds. Well, apparently today we didn’t do something ‘right’ because as soon as we got near that particular area a bird came swooping down on me…could ‘feel’ it by my hair moving. Chico’s freaking out and trying to go after it, and me…I’m just trying to get the heck outta there. It didn’t matter though, that bird came diving down on us!!!!! He was relentless for about 20 yards…swoop down on me, fly away, swoop down on chico, fly away, hang out in tree for a minute then make another attempt on our lives (ok so that may be a bit dramatic). This is why I do not like birds…you can’t predict what they’re going to do, you can’t see them coming (they swoop quickly!) and I fear their beaks!

We finally get out of it’s target area, keep walking to the lake without any problems. So, I figure I’ll be ‘smart’ and walk on the opposite side of the street to go back just to avoid the attack bird. That wasn’t good enough!!!! He came swooping down on us even on the opposite side of the street…and kept swooping down us!! Ok, this is not fun! I had to grab Chico and run with him and meanwhile yes I was screaming at the bird!!! Glad there was nobody on the street watching all this drama unfold…had to have been a sight to see!

And, now we’re home safe…but alas where am I going to walk Chico later? Or shall I go get a suit of armor for myself and chico?

Have I mentioned, I do not like birds!