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Confession Time – What’s Been Going On With Me

Posted by Tara Burner 0 comments

confession time

Confession: acknowledgment; avowal; admission

So, here goes…
Since it’s been obvious via my Facebook wall that something hasn’t been right

First though, I want to say Thank YOU to my friends who’ve been here for me…
via text, email, phone, DM, Facebook, etc.
Without them (and y’all know who you are!) I’d be lost right now
and of course thanks to my family as well…

Moving on…

I’ve not been dealing with stress (financial, physical and personal) very well at all…
Which is ironic since I am certified in Stress Management.
But, applying everything I know to my own life isn’t as easy as helping others with theirs apparently!

Remember (for those who’ve known me awhile) back in October had some hamstring issues
missed the Pretty Muddy Mud Run
couldn’t workout
didn’t let it heal properly
had severe nerve damage
lost feeling in my little piggy toe (to this day I still have no feeling in it)
well now I’m dealing with Sciatica on top of re-injuring hamstring

I haven’t been in gym for 2+ weeks
and am hobbling around in constant pain
Not good!

Then some personal and financial issues set me off the deep end this past week…

I totally destroyed my body…
dont take it out on your body
Did a lot of emotional eating
damn those non-magical emotions (as a good good friend of mine calls them)…
because of those I just threw in the towel and ate…and ate…and ate…
and not even good food
junk and my nemesis (Reese’s PB cups)
I destroyed my immune system apparently because last weekend I got sick (high fever, sore throat, cough, blah) for first time in forever.
Though I guess I didn’t totally destroy it, since I managed to get over it all within 3 days without the help of any meds or anything.

I am a recovering bulimic & compulsive eater
I’ve been from one end to the other (from 113 to 199–yes I did in fact get up to 199)
I’m back up to 143 lbs…
ummmm my goal is 118
soooooooooooooooo ya see where I have to go from here
I’ve got lots to lose…
Am I going to beat myself up over the gain again?
that’s self defeating and won’t change what I did.
But, I’m looking at the progress I’ve made…
Even though I’ve made the same progress multiple times now…
(ya know….lose it, almost hit goal, then I screw it up, gain part of it back, start all over again)
And focusing on the goal…
getting serious and staying devoted this time

I have big goals
I will compete
I will do more
I will be better
I will keep going

Now, once again… my head is in the game
So…no more excuses!
no more blaming relationships, finances, stress, etc. on my taking my eye off the goal…
no more!
no excuses

Note to myself and everyone else out there:
believe in yourself

No matter what others may say or think
No matter what you’re going through
You have to believe in yourself!
And, if you fall
get up again!

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